My name is Lemony Snicket, and it is my sad duty to document this tale. It's A Series of Unfortunate Events, and This Film...
In one way or another, I've always suffered. I didn't know why, exactly. But I do know that I'm not so scared of suffering...
Every neighborhood has a dark secret if you’re willing to dig deep enough. Luckily Kevin Bacon has a shovel and a marriage to destroy....